Scatter the Ashes

and everyone's like gasp? you're preggers. (I only say that word because people hate it so much...rightfully so too) Yes I'm pregnant! Knocked-up, I've got a bun in the oven....well actually our apartment's waterline broke...so now that I can't a take my shower, I figure I will confess here so I feel clean once more.

No more rhyming and I mean it.
Would anyone like a peanut?
Dyah...!

hahaha, I think that's my favorite song by cloud cult yet.

And for anyone who hasn't seen it yet....you really shouldn't: http://www.broadcaster.com/video/player.php?clip=6679

but I expecting to either get them to just kind of laugh and say crazy kid....or for them to shoot me...instead something in the middle happened, which to me is worse than the other two extremes...I mean better than a citation...but a warning is embarassing to me

what's really funny about all this is, I was probably the only sober kid on campus tonight...and I'm the only one that got in trouble with them

So I finished watching schindles list...and I didn't cry...so close...especially becuase of the girl in the red jacket. As I started to watch it I was like man this is going to be just another WWII film and I'm so sick of them. This one really did beat them all though. The pianist really wasn't that great, like maybe it is good, but it didn't compare to this. I guess it really sumarizes a problem that I've been having over the years with figuring out death and the value of a single life. Wars tend to screw thigns up for me because of their massive deaths and the media's incapability to show what it means.

David you should tell me what "hem jesti" means in latin. And do you remember the name of the story set in the rennaisance era about a guy that steals the identity of a war hero and comes back and steals his life, but then in the end he's taken before the court on the account of identity theft and he's hung...it's been too many years for me to remember

Does the sun set in the west?

I had an impiffany the other day. I am antisocial. I realized it when some kid was sitting in front of my locker and I began to determine whether I realy needed to get my books or not. All just to avoid a conversation with someone. In general, I do cut off my conversations with my roommates, I do avoid people that will usually talk to me. I think it's a lot with to me getting in ruts that I can't get out of.

maybe jim carrey is funny because his smile is so big...maybe that's why when he's in sad movies he accents how sad everything is simply by not smiling

So as I was telling thomas, I guess, I'm having some troubles with my mother. Like I know she means well and everything, but...sometimes I really can't handle it anymore. I think the problem is best described with this idea I had developed. Mom was the perfect parent for the first ten years of our life. Dad is the perfect parent for the next ten years. So perhaps it's why she gets so unbearable....or maybe...it's this....:

dmdtam46 (3:38:04 PM): Hi Sweetie
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even if her computer was just being really slow and it was sending everything twice to me...she still...said hi a lot. Over vacation I really started to lose my tolerance. I tried to make amends at the end of it. It's funny, because kelsey seems to be exactly like my mom. so if I work on not hating kelsey so much, perhaps I will appreciate my mother more.

I guess, erin, I understand what you mean about getting favorites. This emily girl really amuses me. The teacher brought in a hamster cage and said the class would have a hamster in a week. Emily then procliamed, "I kill it in one day."

I think I decided today, I would enjoy the stress of being a doctor. My chem teacher said I could take the exam after my vacation if I wasn't in a hurry to get it taken care of. So I said, I'll take some time and think about it. So, I slacked off for a week and then decided, yeah, I should take it after. so I came to him today and told him, yes I'll take it after the vacation. He then said, well you should know, you'll lose 10%. I'm still not sure how I prevented myself from going into tears. I said something like yes, I should've known that. so then I began my cramming for three chapters of chemistry in two days.

Though, the sixth graders are a great time, there are definitely some down sides though. I've been falling asleep in some of my morning classes as I'm avoiding caffeine at all costs (because I still can't pay attention then...on caffeine highs I can't think of anything other than how happy grinding my teeth makes me). The queer thing about me falling asleep in class though, is I don't stop taking notes. Today I was awake enough to go back and look at some of my notes and see what I had been writing. I really was just laughing at it for quite some time. Becuase each word started out with a really nice letter, but then slowly turned into scribbles sloping downwards.

Words can't describe how much I look forward to friday, like the vacation I look forward to still, but friday night will be so awesome in itself. First I get to see happy feet, (again matthew, i'll be home around 7 hopefully, so get showtimes for slightly after) and then I get to go back to wal-mart and read the graffiti that brittney wrote abbout how much she liked me, and then yell at kim for trying to go on another date with me so that she can stand me up for a fifth time. some people. she want's me to be her date to her brother's wedding...but...that would involve her trying to get me drunk all night...perhaps I casually pour it onto the carpetting when no one is looking.

oh yeah, another reason I look forward to friday, the buick is the best car I have ever driven. It's like a cadillac but so much bigger. I guess the best way to describe it is....it's a cake. But really, it has every feature....gah, I'd go sleep in it now. Oh yeah, bench seats in the front...but I'm not to supposed to say that's a good feature...

yay I get to see kato friday night too....and jesse...and maybe gideon's tail has healed....I hope not...he's so cute when it's broken...

Ok, I haven't quite gotten over my love of making lists yet. So here are my accomplishments of recent days:

1. After going an extended period of time without eating, I ate each food group individually...the entire serving recommended for the day, times two. (notice how close to nicole this is...except she eats only fats.....except she eats the entire servings per day times twenty.....in each of her meal periods)(truly my life would be so much more boring without the constant making-fun of fat nicole) (nicole you are my only friend that lets me make fun of them this much)

2. Discovered a new method of insanity. Well not discovered it, I thought of it a long time ago and understood the risks of it, but decided I would try it and so I did and it was pretty crazy at first, but it's not so great now...(and no it's not drugs or alcohol...it's better)

3. Managed to get my time of picking the lock into the practice room down to ten seconds. I like the security people that come in and check on me. Since I've been doing it from the beginning of the year, they're sure I have the access to get in there.

4. Found a techno version of "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy". (Don't worry David, I'll let you listen to it on the vacation, not obsessively though)(Actually I have four other songs that are pretty crazy good, all from the same album, A Night at the Roxbury)

5. Conditioned my french teacher to give me a candy bar whenever I say I'm hungry. (now I just have to discover a way of getting her to get me something other than almond joys, and yes I already tried the, "I'm allergic to coconut". She then asked me why I was eating the almond joy she had given me..."

6. Received a lecture on sex....from a sixth grader.

7. Drank Swedish fluoride water, thinking man this is going to really help my teeth. (Once finished, I was admiring the pretty glass it came in and saw a warning label, saying it had been banned in several states due to excess levels of fluoride.

8. Finally, stopped caring how loud I was in the morning when my roommate is still sleeping. It might have something to do with him coming to here on monday mornings when he doesn't have class till tuesdays.

9. Scared my lab teacher a little. This is the one that wrote "WTF?" on my lab discussion so understand that I wouldn't do this to just any teacher of mine. So, I hate wearing goggles and today we were working with hydrochloric acid. And I had already spilt my cup, poked holes in my cup, completely bathed my hands in it, and many other things that make me happy it's a weak acid. So anyway, my teacher comes over and reminds me I have to wear goggles as we are in fact working with hydrochloric acid. "
josh, c'mon it's not like we're just going to accidently spill this stuff in our eyes"
while I was saying this I was holding the squirt bottle and as I finished I aimed it at my head and shot myself in the eye with it. It was distilled water, but evidently that wasn't his first reaction, probably because I was screaming ahh, my eye, my eye is dissolving...

10. Kidnapped Dido and threatened to keep her in my attic until she married me. She somehow holds ever single positive adjective females can be described with. Oh yeah, we have an attic, we began to removes the screws that keep us out of it. Progress is slow though, my roommates don't work as fast as I want them too. I figure once it's open, I'll make it my room or use it to hold pretty celebrities captive.

So as my last entry says, I got very little sleep last night again. So this morning, I'm like man I'm just way too tired for this. So I decided to go to the restaurant and buy a starbucks type product. So It was about your 12 ounce size of cold coffee thing, and it says nothing about caffeine. However I have come up to realize, tea and coffee products have caffeine implied. still as this one mentioned nothing of it, I figured it must have the typical amount of caffeine, not a big deal for me. So, I drink it. Below is the results:



I guess I've never really been this caffeinated before. It went from me going in and out of reality while I was tired, to extreme mania in the next class, after the drink.

Some side effects that are bizarre in retrospect (at the time they seemed perfectly rational):
-The incredible urge to chew on my plastic chair
-The fantasy of running around in circles, then tackling anyone I could find...then repeating
-The strange idea that I was able to translate the lecture presented into morse code through clicking my teeth together
-writing the character "L", then retracing it continuously until I put a hole through my piece of paper
-The inability to stop my eyes from staying wide-open. (My professor seemed to give me a look saying I shouldn't be so fascinated by quantum theory)
-The desire to explode--half of what thomas had said about how tyler did it in fight club, half in the literal sense of getting everyone covered in my gore
-The desire to beat up my roommate and then justify it, saying time wasn't going fast enough.

Well, actually the last side effect still seems quite rational.

This all reminds me of this thing luke sent me last weekend. How when we join the corporate world, (I told someone to do this at wal-mart before they quit) we should go to the break room and keep replacing the caffeinated coffee with de-caf and do this for three weeks, when everyone will be over their caffeine fixes. Then you replace the coffee with espresso.

I'm feeling slightly better now that I biked crazy, only I destroyed my right breaks again....sigh. can't stop tapping foot...I have a piano lesson soon, should be interesting.

So,today I accidently went over 24 hours without eating. Today, I just didnt' have time, but I wonder why I usually go so long. I suppose it's an inconvenience, or perhaps it's just food no longer tastes good. I'm going shopping this weekend, so perhaps I will fattening products...any suggestions nicole?

Weird thing today, I came home at 6:30, (meaning I had been at st school almost 12 hours,) when I noticed something weird, the light in the bedroom was off. My roommate was gone! This was the kid, that would at school for two hours, and the rest of the day, he was in my room watching anime. So I found this quite strange and inquired one of the other two roommates. Craig said my roommate is in a cartoon club or something, sighing I said anime. Craig said yes that's it. I said, well I guess I'm impressed he's being social, but not impressed that it's anime. Craig then frowned. Because both of them seem to be genuinely nice. I think I used to be genuinely nice too, like I was really willing to give the people with who I'd be sharing close quarters wtih a chance. But the anime, so much anime, they don't know what it does to me....I just can't...

Today I woke up at 6:30 so I could take a shower before my first class. That would have been fine, but I was up till 2am last night. My caffeine sensitivity is turning out to be a curse rather than a gift. Like I drank an iced tea, and it didn't say anything about caffeine, but why would I have been up so late otherwise. Anyway, four hours of sleep, and hopefully I'll fall asleep faster tonight, however I need to wake up even earlier tomorrow. Probably 6:00...that's why I graduated highschool, so I wouldn't have to wake up so early...

My reason for waking up so early tomorrow is mentoring. Tomorrow I begin with the middle schoolers. I have no idea what I'm doing, a very unclear idea of where I'm going, and lastly a very worried feeling about who I will be working with tomorrow.

This week has been quite draining mentally and physically, quite frustrating, and quite emotional. Two years ago, this would have been quite the typical week, so the question is, why do I feel this way without a gf? What are the pros of being single? oh right, I'm interesting this way. Erin, tell me how much more interested you are in me because I'm single.

It's looking like I have the whole apartment to myself this weekend. However, I have a massive amount of little projects to work on.

I feel content nonetheless with how things have gone this week.

So I finally got the picture I had hoped to get, now it's nicole's turn:



The following pictures were the highlights of my weekend:













haha, ok, totally just kidding, I just found david particularly photo-genic this weekend, some more crazy pics:









Anyway, I want everyone to save these pictures and use them hardcore.

To start off, Matthew your idea is genius, only I don't have enough people on lj and don't really like writing things that the audience will never see. Anyway I promise I will write something like it later, because again, it is a good idea.

So the anime crisis. I guess I'm really only writing this for you david. I remember you said at one point how you liked anime because they created completely different worlds, like they had the freedom to do that. Through all of the following this is my execuse, and that is why I'm really directing this to you.

This should be an interesting thing. It's the first time I'm analyzing an entire genre, a cartoon, and doing it publically. Yay for first times.

Ok, at the beginning of the yaer I had a bit of respect for Japan. Then after being forced to endure the countless anime of my roommate I quickly started to hate it. But there have been two shows on Adult Swim that I find my eyes keep going back to. Ok, first off the animation is a little to immature for me, but anime is probably the most detailed animation there is, so animation in general must be too immature for me. The music is of course...bad, it's japanese, how can we expect it to be good? The characters, are far from dynamic. There are so many stock characters from show to show, and the emotions are expected. The plots are where I start to get taken. Plots are typically fantasy soap operas. Soap operas I do become slightly attached to, (don't we all?) but the fantasy part is what really captivates me. Here's something I've always wanted to say. The word wonderful is defined as astonishing, excellent, admirable, other good qualities. Wonderful means full of wonder, thus we see that people have, ever since the word was invented, thought wonder is a good thing. Fantasies are full of wonder. Fantasies take us to worlds (man do a lot of people say that or is it just me) full of infinite possibilities that we typically wouldn't think of visiting otherwise. So when we see the mountain in the movie suddenly stands up and form the shape of a human, or seeing a cute pikachu jump out of the bushes, no matter how immature we think it is, we're already starting to think about it in our heads, wondering what it'd be like to be there, wondering what other parts of that world are different. Yes, you can take taht way too far (cough, roommate cough) but, is there any harm in just closing your eyes and walking through a forest with pink leaves and purple clouds. Anyway, if you cahnged the animation, perhaps even made it with real people, it would no longer be thought of as japanese and no longer be thought negative by people. So if we look at anime as an opportunity to quickly produce fantastic worlds at a price (at least I assume) infinitely cheaper than with computer graphics, then anime is something good, as it provides the infinite freedom some fantasies need. Perhaps people should stop looking at things that excercise creativity so negatively and maybe start to question how watching poker could possibly be entertaining.

As the stories progress in my head and I think about their possible creation, I desperately hope they do not get produce through such means as anime, but I suppose if they are, then at least it will have been produced. I mean what I plan on producing will not ever have any humor in it, and I think that is the ultimate downfall of anime. It is not funny no matter how hard they will try.

People do have good creative ideas that would never be appreciated by anyone if not for anime. Perhaps it should just be considered the new form of comic books.

The foxes they draw are still really cute.

I have decided today, no I have remembered what I decided a long time ago. I HATE FAT PEOPLE. Yes, say you're little things like oh they can't help it or not all fat people are bad and etc. No it doesn't matter. People will all act similar if they are physically similar in some way. Fat people are not jolly like santa, fat people are stupid. Ok, for whatever reason, I am really hateful right now, the concert was ok, but I don't know. Just seeing everyone be all happy afterwards and stuff it was irritating cause I didn't have anyone to say hey, good job on your solos or w/e. Good, I'm glad I have that figured out so I can now justfiy my hatefullness or w/e man, fat people. ok, of course there's my roommate who I'm just becoming so much more annoyed with him, and why? He's not getting worse I'm just noticing more. Perhaps I'm hating myself more and reflecting it on him or whatever. Ok so why I remembered that I hate fat people today, was beause a guy with a one foot wide neck (that's how you measure how fat people are, size of neck) came and sat by me in geography. One he came in late, and starts unvelcroing his pack, and takes out his notebook. AS soon as his notebook is out he starts playing tetris on his cell phone, and does that for the rest of the time period. We were sitting in the second row, and the teacher somehow never noticed it. He smelt bad, but that's given with fat people. So at the end of the period he put his blank notebook back in his pack....and I'm like why would you do that. Anyway, I'm starting to be louder when I wake up, because I don't care anymore. I can't wait for this weekend, I look forward to it soo much, that I'm already dreading the end of it.

Brittney was the most attractive girl that has ever liked me and I was a fool. That's another things I'm mad about today. Matthew, that was the girl that once I realized it was she that liked me, I ran over to you trying to express my joy. Man, I'm dumb.

I'm under house arrest. There's a bunch of people here that my roommates invited, and he said they were going to go to after hours, I want to leave so I can go play piano. But they knocked on my door and they're like we want to meet you. After telling them they could come in, they promptly replied we're so drunk right now, and evidently that meant they didn't think they should come in.
So, now I'm afraid to go outside. After opening my window and highly considering removing the screen....I decided I would have no way of putting it back in behind me...I got my new mp3 player (I totally am not ready to call it an ipod yet) and I'm afraid to touch it. After one hour, I completely filled the 30g of it with music, and started my two hour process of filtering out the music I didn't like as much as I thought I had. So anyway, I'm probably going to wait till monday when my case might arrive, only I haven't bought one yet....man do I hate myself.

If anyone wants to congratulate me on finding the fastest way to waste $250, go ahead. Why won't they leave? Is this what my roommate feels like?

My windows still open. sigh

David have you ever heard of requiem for a dream?

America has grown and with it's growth, there has been one person growing with it.


Nicole Farmerie




Nicole is a friend to the mentally disabled. Shown here.





Nicole is patriotic. In what other country do we find, all you can eat KFC buffets?





Nicole understands all of the problems of America, and for it's modern problems, Nicole has modern solutions.

Press: "And what is your stance on abortion?"
Nicole: "Why don't we just eat the children? I mean then it's like, you get rid of the children, but you're not wasting them. C'mon!"





Nicole knows how to stay calm in crisis. The following is a direct quote.

"Umm, hey nicole, I guess we've run out of lard again."
<"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!">
<"Oh hell no. I am one angry angry angry ANGRY ANGRY MOTHER FUCKER. I AM SUCH AN ANGRY MOTHER FUCKER RIGHT NOW. ANGRY. THAT IS WHAT I AM.">

Vote for Nicole. She's crazy, she'll eat your children, and she is custom-made.

ok, he doesn't watch adult swim anymore, only anime, and I'm going insane, I can't wait for tomorrow because I'll only see him in the morning. Just everything, sob, everything. The way he drinks his water annoys me, the way he always has to crumple it up when he's done (LIKE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?) and he keeps going to bed earlier, I'm going to freak out.

Me and face have been writing letters back and forth frequently. It's good.

Two girls came in our aparment for him yesterday, I was so excited...but it turned out they were just doing a project with him. I was so down... I hope he has a girl back home or something, cause he definitely lacks things up here. I wonder if he thinks the japanese will accept him? Probably not if the only things he can say is "I'm a wolf puppy, oh no keioko I will miss you so dear". I swear, if we ever end up having some conversation where I find out that he really hates anime but he thought it would be a good way to learn japanese, I'll ....

The source of my anger is probably because I was expecting kortney or face to be on-line and niether of them were, and thus I should didn't have to leave the school as early as I did.

Mom and dad got me a Symphonie Fantastique by Berlioz. She said david would like it more, so why did she give it to me? I don't know. I'm listening to it in the hopes of coming across something amazing, haven't yet.

Piano lessons are going good, I'm learning a lot. This student that I'm learning from is telling me all of my previous teachers were lying to me. I guess I can believe that. David do you know the song Danube Waves by Ivanovici, well I learned that. I also decided I could learn march for the love of three oranges, but she's making me learn a lot of other stuff first. I'm a little apprehensive about the whole situation because she said I was the most advanced student she's ever had. Thus I'd expect her to not be as knowledgeable as my other teachers were, but she's teaching me all wierd techniques on dynamics, phrasing, pedaling, etc. She says I could be a performance major if I wanted to, but she doesn't recommend it because she hates her life.

That reminds me, "horrible nightmarish visions!!" "I know dib, it's called life"

Classical music continues to be an acquired taste. I'm sticking by my theory that the only reason it's beneficial is because it's boring.

Reasons I dislike Green-Bay:
1. It has been completely windy every single day I have gone outside
2. My roommate
3. I live in the furthest building from the campus
4. It has been snowing for the past three days
5. My roommate
6. The wind always blows against the person who is biking up a hill
7. When it has not been snowing, it has been raining, but not like oh I love because it is putting my hosue that's on fire out, really cold rain that that gives people hypothermia
8. My roommate who lives in my room
-there's a lot more but I should probably save them when I'm feeling lazy about finishing my college applications

Reasons I like Green-Bay
1. lots of squirrels

I think this weekend, I'll make make a statue, of a penguin, out of hot glue, on my roommates bed...

the best video in the entire world

http://youtube.com/watch?v=XAjeBshr0pc

My roommate is watching this dumb anime thing on dogs...like wild dogs...I don't get how it can possibly be amusing....I want to cry I hate it so much and thus hate him because he's the cause for it. Somewhere along the lines of my self-analysis I came to the realization that hate is caused by a misunderstanding. So if I look at why I hate him today why I hate so many things today, it's because I was really just having a bad day. A bad day is where someone looks at me and I accidently scowl at them....like once you've gone down you stay down, so I'm just waiting to hit rock bottom so I can do anything I want to...that's the third insane joke I've made this month...I'd like to pause and say that the dogs in the anime movie are now jumping from tree to tree like crouching tiger hidden dragon (I'm sure you're starting to understand how much taste he has)...the other ones were at least when you go insane you get to hug yourself all the time and gahhh....I hate this so much, the music has just becmoe high pitched and my ears are starting to ring...

ok I just came back from outside, and I'm calm....I have calmed myself until I accidently look at the tv again....my hands were actually starting to twitch I was so bothered by it all....days like today I heavily consider switching apartments, but I imagine I'll find something to hate in each roommate, the ending music is so bad

ok I'm totally going to stop talking about it

good things. Face is such a good friend no one really realizes it. she's exactly the type of friend that I have always wanted...only I can't say these type of things because she's a girl and she has cooties...(that's my way of saying I'm afraid she would think I want or she herself want a deeper realtionship, which I really don't want)...but she is very considerate and she totally said the exact comment I had hoped she would say when I stepped out of line.

If I could have one wish in the world, it would be that I was in madison with her

this winter, I'm not going to work at all, and me and face, maybe adam (I no longer really care if he should decide to abandon his drinking friends) are going to have a movie fest where we don't sleep for many days straight and we just watch movies I keep telling her she should see.

talking about all of this makes me calmer and I no longer care if anyone reads this because it's self-therapy more than anything. But if you do have advice with this I'd be happy to take it. The only problem with my relationship with face, and it isn't her fault is there will always (will perhaps not always) of should how we could be dating. I mean like the friend that I've always wanted had to be a girl. Somewhere along the line me and matthew were in teh movies and we were talking about haha, how I had earlier said, "if monkeys could talk english" about some freshman girls on our bus.

I'm missing futurama and family guy because of this of this stupid wolf thing

Anyway matthew was all like repeating it about the girls in the movie theatre and I said yeah, they have so much more emotional relationships than us (which makes their friendships so much better, so much more fragile) like if you compare that to my friendship with thomas, I only say it with thomas because he was the person who I always got in fights with and we always resolved our fights by never speaking of it again, girls will either hug and say BFF like LOL!!! (ask nicole this...and if she tries denying it mention my video of her and mindy) or they will never talk to each other again. That's what makes girls relationships so good which is partly why I value having face as my friend. However she would have to be a lesbian to get rid of the tension, but then there would be other problems. Anyway, we will see how it plays out, I'm not ready for a relationship for a long time

he's tapping his feet to the ending music now, I'm about to....hey next paragraph

I think I'm going to go out some night to the woods and just scream...I've never done that before and it must be good for something....feeling slightly better

Basically, I've found the worlds' greatest website. I know for a fact I have found the greatest internet radio. This is why you owe me david. Though you won't be able to use it quite so well not having high speed and such, but you'll want to make an account.

http://www.pandora.com/?tc=b-001143-0035-1143

In summary, this site has you type in your favorite artist or song and then it creates a radio station playing that song or artist and other music with similar qualities. Like it's ridiculous how much research they've done with each song. Like they know the time signature of each song, all the instruments playing and then all of the possible genres it fits under. Like after entering three artists in one of my radio stations, yeah you can have an infinite amount of radio stations too, it decided I only wanted female vocalists with oprah type things. So as you go through the songs rating it develops a station that every song you will either fall in love with or you already have. Like it's ridiculous how much music I've decided I'm going to go out and buy.

Of course there are all of the legal issues, like you can't go back to the last song (it's a radio station not a song library) and you can't get the song you want right away because it needs to be random. There are ways around it, most of the annoying things, but the good thing is you can pause it. This has got to be the only radio station in the world that you can pause.

AHH SEE IT'S PLAYING DIDO, I love it. Now I click 'I like Dido', and it will play dido more frequently than other artists. Anyway, I no longer care for any music downloads...mp3 players will become moot once they have a portable radio tuner, (they already have squeezeboxes for various parts of your house).

Anyway, further no commercials, sweet. A predominant problem that they're working on right now is classical music. Like that's going to completely double or triple their library so they don't know how to tackle it yet, especially since they do so much research. So anyway, there's no philip glass, john williams, or any new modern composers, which is a shame, but they're working on it and asking for suggestions. So besides that minor trifle, this thing is flawless. Like even when I was like oh man, I found a flaw in it, I didn't!

There are few things on the internet that have an absolutely flawless design, and this is one of these. Not only was it a genius idea, it has been masterfully created with the every care of the listener kept in mind. If they were selling their stock, I'd drop out of college and use my tuition money to buy stock.

Even nicole liked it and she only likes food and sex...at the same time....but now she likes internet radio. You can bookmark songs to buy or download them later. GAh I've written too much, but anyway david you asked me if I found any great radio stations, I found this yesterday, and I want to go work for them...

EVERYONE SUPPORT THIS

So I still dislike my roommate, I'm freezing cold cause I left the window open because I'm hoping it will freeze his hands like it is mine and he won't want to spend so much time in here.....hahaha oh man I'm genius.

Anyway, it's been a while since I've just had a general update, so here I go.
I think face got me sick in the short couple of hours we were driving together. Last night I took my nyquil at nine and thought it would be sweet if I stayed up till I couldn't anymore. So I stayed up till midnight.

If I hadn't been conscious enough to realize that I was still with people who aren't used to my oddness, I would have been dancing. I highly recommend taking nyquil before you want to sleep. I swear I was floating and everything was so much more fun.

Hah, I've started shivering. I think maybe I''ll start stealing my roommates sweaters...cause then I'll have more warmth and he won't. Man he's gonna be ticked when I still have my fan on tonight.
Anyway sandwichs. This all started over the summer when me and Luke saw an ecoli notice at the beach and I told him a little ecoli is good for you. I found myself saying something similar to this when I noticed the my cheese for my sandiwches was starting to get mold.

I'm so cold, no one knows.

Cheese is so expensive I hate to waste it. I've been having sandwichs since I've first come to college. So I started to put salad dressings on them to make it more interesting. I have tons of salad dressing but I quickkly ran out of salad. I also have shredded cheese, crotons, and small tomatoes should I ever get more lettuce, only I have no way of doing this.

Oh, bread is another thing. My roommates for w/e reason keep throwing away bread. Like so I'll look at the garbage and see a bag of bread sitting on top of it. I'll examine the bread and see nothing wrong with it. So I take teh bread. One time there was a full loaf of bread further down in the garbage. I may or may not have taken it. Is this is all very wrong of me? Is it gross? Dangerous health wise. I mean it's not like the bread's touched the garbage and it's not like the mold on the cheese is real mold...it's fake mold.

Fungi makes cheese anyway, I"m just trying to get a slightly more fermented form of cream. Anyway, I'm also getting cake, cause my two cool roommates make a cake, brownies, or cookies whenever the packers win. Then they're like eat our cake and I'm like I would even if you hadn't told me to. I appreciate free food and I think I'm becoming economical to a new level.

Man I'm cold, and I have a cold too, maybe I'm coming up with a cure no one's thought of.

So thanks to Thomas (see I even capitalized his name I'm so grateful), I finally have gotten my videos onto youtube. So anyway here are the links for the videos.

My building, the one that I was all freaking out about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s4OtLkKut4

Tribute to Seth our other beloved canines.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppC-IsN5k9Q

Because as I was reading thomas' entry and thinking of my own situation and starting to tear up, I silently said screw this. Because, we always want what we don't have. It goes further than thomas saying how we appreciate seth more after than before, further than thomas hating his life because he can't have one of his select girls when he has seventy other ones offering him kitchen appliances, further than me hating my life because I can't get a single friend here when I undoubtedly have the world's greatest friend over in madison. We are all so dumb, and I hate myself because even as I write this I can't stop feeling envious--can't stop wanting things.
Today I ended things with sammi permenantly, I've probably said that before, but recently I can hold grudges much better, because I have so much more hatred in me. I'd say more but it's not healthy.
Anyway, I'm working on getting my videos out for everyone to see, but it seems so many web sites have problems working with networks.
I'm trying not to think about Seth...but I do think we should all try to be more like Gideon...content with everything. Mom was telling me about the individual dog's reactions as they buried seth...I wish I had been there, I wish I was there. this isn't homesickness, it's stupidty.